Why do I choose to focus on puberty and other topics pertaining to young people?

Hi! Welcome to my blog!

About me:

I had the opportunity to talk with numerous children in New York about changes that occur during puberty. My favorite job when living there was as a full-time health teacher in a middle school on Long Island. I taught grades 5, 6, and 8, in which there was always a “puberty unit” in the 5^thand 6^thgrades.

At the start of this unit, my students and I would create classroom rules. In truth, I guided this discussion, yet students agreed to the following:

• We would attempt to be as mature as possible during discussions.
• We might giggle or laugh at some things, yet we were not to laugh at others including when anyone asked questions that seemed simple or strange.
• If some students got very giggly, they could excuse themselves and go to the back of the room or hallway until the “giggles” went away. The students would not get into trouble; instead they needed to practice being mature.
• We would use appropriate terms, not slang terms, for discussions. If a slang word was said, we would then re-ask the question or re-state the comment with the appropriate term.
• Personal stories and questions would remain confidential, yet at any time that someone shared they were being hurt or hurting someone else (including themselves), I would get support for them.
• Anyone can ask questions during all discussions, as well as anonymously for homework.

After agreeing to the rules, we would begin our unit by listing the pubertal changes all children experience. We also went over the self-management skills children need to help with those changes, including proper washing techniques, possible deodorant/anti-perspirant use, coping techniques, etc.… Eventually, we would go over the changes specific to girls and specific to boys.

These lessons went very well.  Part of the reason is because of the comfortable classroom environment. I have been told by students I have the ability to create a high level of comfort in my courses, therefore, students would ask and answer questions, understanding all of us are doing the best we can with the tools we have been provided.

When receiving questions, two main themes always arose:

1. Girls thinking they were dying or going to die when they got their periods for the first time; and
2. Boys thinking, they were urinating in their beds at night.

These two themes support my reasoning for empowering adults to talk with children about the basics of getting older.

Regarding first periods (menarche):

Can you imagine being a girl and, upon going to the bathroom, seeing blood on your underwear or in the toilet? How scary that must be especially if no one ever spoke with you about this occurring during your pre-teen years. I think this is unfair.

Having a menstrual cycle (getting a period) is natural for girls. Anyone with a uterus and vulva will get one, unless there is a medical challenge or rare situation. So why not tell girls about this? I have heard some people say they will talk to their daughters/nieces/grandchildren once they are older, like in 6^thgrade. Yet for many girls that time is too late. Girls can get their periods as early as 8 years of age. And, like I asked earlier, wouldn’t you want to know of this natural occurrence so you don’t think you are dying?

Regarding wet dreams (nocturnal emissions):

Just like girls are not always told about periods, some boys are not told about wet dreams- nocturnal emissions in which semen is released from their penis as they sleep. Numerous boys have asked me if they are wetting their beds, thinking they were regressing back to being babies and toddlers. Some boys expressed embarrassment about this, yet I reassured them that they are experiencing the natural occurrence of semen practicing getting out of their bodies, and that they are not urinating in their beds. Wouldn’t you want to know of this natural occurrence before it happened to you?

Therefore…

So, long blog shorter, I don’t understand why children have to sometimes experience natural things and get scared because they weren’t spoken to beforehand. There are enough scary things occurring in the world; why can’t we eliminate one item and let them feel more confident about growing older?

Feedback from my former students, as well as from children I have given workshops for, have told me that it helped hearing about what their bodies would be doing BEFOREit happened, as well as knowing the self-management skills they needed to cope with getting older. Even students who are now full-fledged adults have let me know they appreciated having a reliable resource they could be honest with and that wouldn’t judge them about what they were thinking.

Therefore, I have made this one of my missions in life- to help people increase their comfort levels to talk about puberty with children or others, as well as talk about other related subjects.  And this blog, as well as my web-site and resources, were created to help with my mission.

So… let’s be honest about being human.  And remember… We are all doing the best we can with the tools we have been provided.

Question to ponder for next post: Why do children need trusted adults to talk with about puberty and other age-appropriate topics?